"I heard that his girlfriend dumped his ass and that's why he stopped coming," a fat girl spat, leaning back in the pale yellow chair as she crammed two day old bacon-wrapped scallops into her mouth. She licked the butter and bacon grease off her stubby fingers in between heavy gasps for air as she spoke, "Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he killed himself!"

"Awww! Poor guy! He must've really liked her to stop showing up!" Her friend, who was skinny as a rail, nibbled on a piece of rubbery cheese from her Lunchables. "I mean, he must be so heartbroken over this! What a sweet and sensitive guy…" she sighed dreamily, her thin lips curled into an awkward as fuck smile that revealed a pair of yellow, crooked buckteeth with some green piece of God-Knows-What stuck in between them.

"Not really, he was such an annoying fuck. I can't blame her for breaking up with him."

"Oh? I never really talked to him before, I'm sure that he wasn't that bad…"

"I dunno about you, but I wanted to punch him in the mouth every time he opened his fucking mouth. According to her she said that he had gotten all cocky and obnoxious-"

"Oh, that's really too bad…"

"I have no fucking clue what she's talking about since he's just as fucking dumb and cocky as before. He still wears that motherfucking shit eating grin that he did back in fucking elementary school! He still has that annoying as fuck laugh 'GAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!'"

The skinny girl snorted, her chest heaving as her laugh rang throughout the noisy classroom; other students looked towards the sound of a retarded donkey choking on a moldy watermelon was coming from, "Oh it's just that Maddox girl laughing again," someone muttered. Everyone went back to their own thing, trying desperately to ignore the god awful sound of the Maddox girl laughing.

"Gosh Mindy, way to make me look like a loser with your dumb laugh, "the fat girl groaned, jamming more scallops into her mouth. She rubbed her greasy fingers on her skirt that showed her delicious, to some people anyway, jiggling cottage cheese thighs, "Anyway, I bet that guy killed himself. He may've acted like he was hot shit, but he's a pathetic sack of wasted flesh! He doesn't know a real woman when he sees one and I would never, never want to think about dating him let alone him sticking his throbbing, leaking penis inside my good stuff-"

Mindy Maddox flailed her bony arms in the air, "Oh I get it! You like him and you're mad that he rejected your nasty flabby cottage cheese ass right?! Tell me I'm right! I knew you liked him, Talley~"

Talley choked on her scallop, her swelled belly and quadruple chin jiggling disgustingly with every cough. Bits of chewed up bacon, bacon fat and scallops flew out of her fat maw, some flecks landing on Mindy's giant coke bottle glasses and freckled face. "How fucking dare you say that! I do not want or never did want to date such a fucking retarded jerk! It's not like I was in love with him since I was in kindergarten when I first saw him and masturbate to the thought of him being in the same room as him every night or anything! You are disgusting and so is he!

"I'm so fucking glad that he killed himself! Then I never ever have to associate with a whore like that, I mean he actually dated other girls! Plus, it's not like I'm absolutely heartbroken and suicidal and or homicidal because of the fact that I'm not the one going out with him and that I'm not his first or anything! I NEVER EVER, EVER ASKED FINNEGAN 'TRISTAN' ATTICUS GIDEON STARK OUT!"

The room fell silent; Mindy felt twenty eyes stare in her and Talley's general direction.
She shifted awkwardly in her seat; she pursed her lips together as she watched the fat girl flail her fat grandma arms in the air while screaming about her obvious creepy obsessive crush and denial of said obsession over the missing boy.

"O-okay Talley… I-I was just teasing… You should probably calm dow-"

"AND FINNEGAN TRISTAN ATTICUS GIDEON STARK IS A PATHETIC, ANNOYING, INTOLERABLE, VIOLENT, DEPRAVED, EGOTISTICAL BEAUTIFUL WASTE OF FLESH!"

Little did Talley know, the classroom door had opened and the entire room fell silent at the sight of a familiar figure stepping into the room. Everyone stared at the boy who walked purposely slow towards the fat blubbering girl who was continuing to insult him and try to deny her transparent worship of him. She jumped at the feeling of thin calloused fingers sink into her bubbling fat shoulder, she tried to turn to look at the person grabbing her,  her fat neck prevented her from doing so.

"Instead of badmouthing me and shoving shit into your mouth, you should probably go fucking lose some weight. Or buy clothes that actually fit you, pig bitch."

Talley fell out of the chair, her fat legs and arms flailing around as her shit brown eyes widened at the sight of Finnegan 'Tristan' Atticus Gideon Stark. She scrambled onto her stomach and managed to get her jiggling ass off the ground as she ran off, probably to go throw up in the girl's bathrooms in a desperate attempt to get thin.

Tristan rolled his eyes, sighing heavily as he ran a hand through his auburn hair. He blew hair out of his puffed out cheeks as he stepped towards his desk and sat down, his head cocked as far back as it would go. His eyes closed as he heard chairs scuffling against the dirty tiled floor and the heavy sound of twenty pairs of shoes slamming against said dirty tiled floor towards him.

His lips twitched at the sound of nearly every person in the room asking the same question or a slight variation of the question;

"WHERE'VE YOU BEEN?!"

"JEEZ, IT'S BEEN A MONTH TRISTAN! WHAT HAPPENED?!"

"WHY WERE YOU GONE FOR A MONTH!?"

"WHERE DID YOU GO?!"

"OH MY GOD I MISSED YOU SO MUCH WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SLEEP I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FINNEGAN TRISTAN ATTICUS GIDEON STARK I LOVE YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHERE YOU WERE FOR THE PAST MONTH I WAS SO WORRIED AND I CAN'T LIVE MY LIFE WITH OUT YOU…"

"WHAT THE FUCK MAN, WHY WERE YOU GONE?!"

He just buried his face in the crook of his elbow as he tried to ignore the yammering of the other students. Someone grabbed his shoulder, making him look up at the person; his lips curled into a small, tired smile at the sight of his friend.

"Hey Simon," he yawned, "How've you been?"

Simon's lips twitched at the overly casual tone of Tristan's voice, same with that tired yet oh-so-smug smile that just screamed "Yeah I know I've been gone for the past month, but hey man let's just forget about that because I'm really tired. Also I fucked your dog."

So he proceeded to grab the brunet by the collar of his stained white t-shirt that read "I know this isn't FaceBook, but can I still poke you?" He then followed by punching Tristan in the face, blood spurting out of his nose;

"YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!" He punched Tristan in the face with every single syllable, "DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA HOW FUCKING WORRIED WE FUCKING WERE?! YOUR MOM KEPT CALLING MY MOM ASKING IF YOU WERE OVER AT MY PLACE. WE THOUGHT YOU FUCKING KILLED YOURSELF YOU FUCKING SACK OF SHIT!"

The teacher simply just turned the page of his book, not bothered by the fact that his missing student just showed up after a month and he was currently getting the daylights punched out of him. He couldn't stop reading right now --Edward was just about to turn Bella into a vampire!

---

Simon realized something about his friend; his expression was tired, as if he had spent the past month sitting in front of a screen in the dark. He seemed twitchier than usual as well yet at the same time he lacked the energy that he used to have before the disappearance. His auburn hair was a mess, not in the "I'm too cool to do my hair properly" way that it normally was. Tristan in general just looked like a complete and utter mess. A complete and utter satisfied mess, Simon couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it was like his best friend's smug and tired smile seemed to be saying, "I had the most mind blowing sex that lasted for days. Worship me, you fucking faggot."

"Tristan, seriously man, where the fuck have you been?"

Tristan smiled brightly, revealing a strange set of abnormally sharp teeth that sparkled as if he were some charming pretty boy in a cartoon, which he was not. "Seriously Simon, do I have to keep telling everyone where I've been~?"

Simon clenched his fist, getting ready to send his friend straight to the fucking moon if he kept up with the smug bullshit. "You didn't tell me or anyone shit! Out with it!"

"Well…I was-"He began, only to be cut off by some small, tiny androgynous blob jumping onto his back. The sudden weight on his back made him fall forward, his shark teeth chomping down hard on his tongue.

Birds shit all over the courtyard as they flew away in fear at the booming wail echoing
throughout the town.

Blood poured out of Tristan's mouth as the person who jumped on him hugged him and tried to apologize for making the poor sap nearly slice his tongue off, "I'm so very really sorry that I jumped on you it's just that I was so excited to see you and I didn't get a chance to talk to you during class and I really missed you because you were gone for so long and I really wanna know where you were and I was so very really scared that maybe you did something dumb!!!" They gasped before opening their mouth again, "I was wondering if it was because of Daisy-Shilo 'cause you kind of disappeared-"

Tristan grinned like a maniac before laughing like he had just sliced open someone's belly, filled it up with sand, sewed them back up and threw them into a pool and left them to drown. "As fucking if! I wouldn't be moping for a god damn month over an ugly bitch like that! That uptight bitch needs to get that sand out of her loose vagina! Gahahaha!"

Simon smacked the other hard in the back of the head, "You're a fucking little shit, Kyle! He was gonna tell me where the fuck he's been!"

Kyle frowned, fidgeting in his spot and wriggling his slim feminine body. "Ahhh… I-I'm sorry Simon! It's just that I was so scared and excited to see Tristan again and I just had to see him and hug him and stuff!" He turned toward Tristan, his supposedly dazzling Caribbean blue eyes sparkling with joy, "And I secretely knew that you wouldn't have gone all emo and stuff over Daisy-Shilo! You're too awesome and cool and shit to go emo-"

"Go choke on a fucking chode, Kyle! You thought he killed himself!"

"Get off my fucking dick, Simon!"

"Go fuck yourself, man!"

Simon and Kyle felt arms wrap around their waists before being pulled flush against a grinning Tristan, "Oh I knew you two were complete and utter fags for me, but I didn't know you were fighting over me~!"

The next thing that Tristan knew, he was seeing starbursts explode in his eyes before hitting the ground.